I know you're dying to see my handsome face, but I can't. It'd look too suspicious. Schrader knows you're here, and if I get on his bad side this fast —
[Who else is here.
Saul's had a headache for days; it just got worse.]
[ Yes, Saul, he knows, Saul, he understands that, Saul, but the point is -- there it is. ]
No, Al Capone; him and I are startin' it up in the biz together. Yeah, brainiac, who else would it be? He's been, like --
[ Oh, there's a long story somewhere in there. He's not getting to that one any time soon. ]
He's been watchin' my back, and what the hell's that prick gonna do here anyway? Even his gun ain't gonna do him much here, lemme say, there's a hell of a lot more to this place that you don't even know yet, man, just -- Get over here.
What that prick is doing involves a lotta things you and I should be worried about. Gun or no gun — and there is no gun, FYI — I can not afford to arouse that kinda suspicion. Capiche?
I know you miss me. I get that. I'd miss me, too.
[Can't Jesse just hear him grinning?]
I'll visit ASAP, but I can't hang around permanently. You want me to be your lawyer, you want me to continue on with this whole watching your ass thing, you're gonna have to trust me and let me play this one my way. Like the Sinatra song.
[ Christ, Saul, sound more shit-eating; Jesse dares you. ]
Yeah? Your way?
Look, I get it? [ Saul's just trying to figure out what bread he's trying to butter here, and that's fine. ] Hiding behind the big bad dude with the gun — without even, apparently, a gun? Like, fine, don't get over here, this ain't about lawyer shit anymore, Saul. [ Although it also kind of is but that's another venture for another time. ] Just trust me when I say there's bigger problems than Punch First, Ask Questions Later.
There's a lotta shit out there, man. [ Wow, that was almost concern. ]
Talkin' 'bout danger, motherfucker, look. [ Less concern. ] Like the Mystikal song.
Look, kid — I know. I get it. I'm genre savvy. When Schrader and I woke up, we were in that research facility. And there was a thing. Maybe a person, maybe a monster, I dunno — we heard it, we saw it, it was there, it was real, so you don't have to tell me jack about what's out —
[ ... Was he, like, looking out for something there for a second? Jesse's line goes dead quiet for a moment, abject disbelief, before he shakes his head and starts in again. ]
[ As long as he knows. ] You didn't have to kill it or nothin', though, did you?
[ Hey, it's been a long month. There's been a lot of that going around. ]
Look, all's I'm sayin' is that me and Mr. White? We've been goin' at this a while. Learning, like, and we been up against some of this shit. Just remember that when you're up with your new best friend who hasn't come across jack shit yet, huh? Whoever you're stickin' to, man, your funeral when the scarecrows start rollin' back into town or somethin'.
What? No, no. Jesus. I thought it was gonna kill us.
[Rubbing a hand over his face, he half-mutters:] Ease up on the jealousy for two seconds and listen to me, Jesse. This is not me switching sides. Yes, I'm forming a new alliance, but I have a plan. You're familiar with those, right? The things you pay me to come up with and carry out so your ass stays safe? It just so happens that this one keeps all of our asses safe. I'm just covering my bases, here. That's all.
It's simple, kid. I stay on Hank's good side, I stay alive. The guy may be an asshole and a half, but —
[No, okay, even he has to sigh at the way this sounds.]
I'm doing this to help you and your partner. Or do we want him to go all 'vigilante justice' on your ass again? Because last time, the results weren't pretty.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. Don't want your toast landin' butter side down or whatever. [ However that saying goes. ]
He's gonna trust you 'bout as far as he can throw you, y'know. Which ain't real far on account'a he's gotta eat, like, two buckets'a fried whatever before he even gets to it. He's a cop. You're a lawyer. You two're kinda bred to hate each other. [ It's in your blood!! Listen to your blood. ]
[ Which isn't to say he doesn't get it, last argumentative words and all. It's just kind of to say that he thinks it's an exercise in futility. ]
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[Who else is here.
Saul's had a headache for days; it just got worse.]
Walter?
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No, Al Capone; him and I are startin' it up in the biz together. Yeah, brainiac, who else would it be? He's been, like --
[ Oh, there's a long story somewhere in there. He's not getting to that one any time soon. ]
He's been watchin' my back, and what the hell's that prick gonna do here anyway? Even his gun ain't gonna do him much here, lemme say, there's a hell of a lot more to this place that you don't even know yet, man, just -- Get over here.
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I know you miss me. I get that. I'd miss me, too.
[Can't Jesse just hear him grinning?]
I'll visit ASAP, but I can't hang around permanently. You want me to be your lawyer, you want me to continue on with this whole watching your ass thing, you're gonna have to trust me and let me play this one my way. Like the Sinatra song.
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Yeah? Your way?
Look, I get it? [ Saul's just trying to figure out what bread he's trying to butter here, and that's fine. ] Hiding behind the big bad dude with the gun — without even, apparently, a gun? Like, fine, don't get over here, this ain't about lawyer shit anymore, Saul. [ Although it also kind of is but that's another venture for another time. ] Just trust me when I say there's bigger problems than Punch First, Ask Questions Later.
There's a lotta shit out there, man. [ Wow, that was almost concern. ]
Talkin' 'bout danger, motherfucker, look. [ Less concern. ] Like the Mystikal song.
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[He's totally hiding.]
Look, kid — I know. I get it. I'm genre savvy. When Schrader and I woke up, we were in that research facility. And there was a thing. Maybe a person, maybe a monster, I dunno — we heard it, we saw it, it was there, it was real, so you don't have to tell me jack about what's out —
[There's an anxious pause as he glances around.]
Here.
[Then, a little more quietly:] I know.
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[ As long as he knows. ] You didn't have to kill it or nothin', though, did you?
[ Hey, it's been a long month. There's been a lot of that going around. ]
Look, all's I'm sayin' is that me and Mr. White? We've been goin' at this a while. Learning, like, and we been up against some of this shit. Just remember that when you're up with your new best friend who hasn't come across jack shit yet, huh? Whoever you're stickin' to, man, your funeral when the scarecrows start rollin' back into town or somethin'.
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[Rubbing a hand over his face, he half-mutters:] Ease up on the jealousy for two seconds and listen to me, Jesse. This is not me switching sides. Yes, I'm forming a new alliance, but I have a plan. You're familiar with those, right? The things you pay me to come up with and carry out so your ass stays safe? It just so happens that this one keeps all of our asses safe. I'm just covering my bases, here. That's all.
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Okay, so let's hear it.
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[No, okay, even he has to sigh at the way this sounds.]
I'm doing this to help you and your partner. Or do we want him to go all 'vigilante justice' on your ass again? Because last time, the results weren't pretty.
[A pause.]
I need to get him to trust me.
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He's gonna trust you 'bout as far as he can throw you, y'know. Which ain't real far on account'a he's gotta eat, like, two buckets'a fried whatever before he even gets to it. He's a cop. You're a lawyer. You two're kinda bred to hate each other. [ It's in your blood!! Listen to your blood. ]
[ Which isn't to say he doesn't get it, last argumentative words and all. It's just kind of to say that he thinks it's an exercise in futility. ]
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Cool it, Brokeback, just do whatever you gotta do.
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[...that makes it sound even more gay, doesn't it?
Ah, well.]